Curriculum Vitae was reported dead-on-arrival at Mercy Hospital, CA on Valentines day, February 14 2010.
Mr Vitae (CV as he was affectionately known) was well over 100 years old. He was praised by close friends Resume (also gravely ill) and “Job application form” (disabled, but still alive) as having dutifully served the need for employee-employer connections prior to the Internet, and the re-emergence of "get real" communication. An inside source revealed to us that the forthcoming coroners report will formally link Internet and "get real" communication to CVs death.
CV began a slow decline when Email, Linkedin, Facebook, online video and blogs provided fast, effective, point-and-click real information on a candidate. But insiders say the death-nell was a groundswell in the job market against information that painted safe & shiny pictures while leaving employers with no sense of the "the real person", and no basis to reliably filter and select people for a job interview.
One trusted source said “In an age where social media started providing easy access to the “real story”, CV stuck to a format which was neither real, nor story.”
In a surprise twist, CV is understood to have dedicated his body to science. Doctors at IGI (International Getajob Institute) are upbeat at the prospect that CV's body-parts will still prove useful to the science of job-seeking. head employment pathologist Dr Ed Hunter disclosed "CV will be providing his fully functional appendix to a new donee quite soon. When asked to comment further on the identify of the donee he declined further comment, retorting his catch-cry which had left colleagues groaning for years "sick man must be patient".
CV's formal obituary in the Stewart Island Times announced "CV showed one was eligible, not exceptional; he showed who one was, not one you is. He told of what one did, not how one thought."
However, Steve Jobless - former C.D banker at J.P.Morgan - after issued 456 CVs over 17 months, was more damning. "CV will not be missed. Unless you were applying for a position at a fast-food restaurant, or you were a software geek who only needed to speak to humans during online in roleplay games, CV communicated absolutely squat about the real “you”. Kind of a major omission isn't it?"
***breaking story*** CV's secret appendix-donee identified as "RS". Read more below...
We have just learnt the identify of the form that will be replacing CV, and is currently undergoing an appendicitis at IGI Hospital with CVs appendix being inserted as we write. The new incarnation is called "RS". Elements of CV will be found in RS's appendix. “RS's full name is believed to be “real story”.
OK - so here's the practical suggestion part
I am of course being tongue-in-cheek... as Lou Reed once said, "if my tongue were any further through my cheek I could lick my ear with it". however, there is a real message here that can help you get more employable at a higher market rate today.
So here is what you do instead of using a CV...
I once used the RS format to gain 3 job interviews from 3 RS submissions. In each case, I had no direct experience for any of those jobs. Yes, I did during a recession; no I didn’t lie. The RS is more truthful than you previously dared. And that gave me an unfair advantage. When you use this RS, you will gain the same unfair advantage. Its like using a tomahawk when everyone else is using fisticuffs.
So what is the “RS”
1. a 2-paragraph email cover letter that contains phrases that make people itch with curiosity to find out more, plus 2. a one-page story that contains
- a one-liner that expresses something you believe
- a story about what you have done that includes something great, something where you stuffed-up (and what you learnt) and how it lead you to where you are now.
- Your core values
- 3 lines with 3 Links to online resources on you that show your true colours (including possibly linked-in, facebook, an online video of you, your blog).
What is an example of this?
- to get someone to read your RS right now, in your cover email you might say something like “Firstly, when you read it you will notice an unusual declaration about myself.”
- to show someone that you are being “real”, rather than say “After just one year I was promoted” say “after one year I'd crashed 2 customer databases and my boss decided to promote me out of danger and into management”. I actually wrote this in one CV. That CV was a true-RS. It got shown to 3 prospective employers and got me 3 interviews. These 3 interviews landed in 4 job offers. So being real works.
Go try it. Fortune favors "the fun".
Author Resource:-
Daniel Batten invents innovative stuff that help you get places-without-pain in your business/career. If you want to become a persuasive speaker, a GenX leader, or a headhunted employee, you can start learning today. Write todaniel@beyondtheceiling.com orsubscribe to his free newsletter and enjoy the journey. PS: don't forget to check outDaniel's blog - packed with invaluable business and career tips.
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